How to deal with rejection (like a designer)

When someone says no, your life isn’t over. Don’t worry.

“Rejection is part of life” people say. In fact, there is no human on earth who has lived rejection-free.

Whether it’s being turned down for a date, or having an idea shut down at work, it can feel impossible to bounce back after such a loss.

If something you really really want (a new partner, approval of a colleague etc) doesn’t come into your life, then what does it all mean? Does it mean you were right — that you and your ideas were not good enough all along?

Outside work, I like to apply for a lot of opportunities; speaking about design, social stuff, my drawings etc. The downside in doing this, however, is that rejection becomes a (fairly) regular part of your human experience.

While I can usually brush things off and see the bigger picture, a recent rejection put me to the test. It was specific, personal, and made me want to hide under my bed and cry for the foreseeable future.

When I felt this last week, I remembered my early days in UX design. Through taking a walk down memory lane, and writing this article, I’ve thankfully gained some perspective.

1. Know that it’s not that deep: In some situations, it can be challenging to not take rejection personally; particularly when it relates to your creative portfolio or something you spent a lot of time working on. However, this feedback does not mean you are shit, it just means that the work you did might need some tweaks. Through improving my design portfolio, I realized that past rejections were not rejections of me — they were rejections of how I was presenting old projects.
2. And that they don’t know you really: And if the feedback does get personal, odds are high that they don’t really know you (or are just having a bad day). Their view of you is 2D — they don’t know your dreams, what you’ve been through, what you’re capable of.
3. And you’re being guided somewhere else: And if you feel they do know you, you’ve likely outgrown that dynamic, or are better aligned somewhere else. Every time I have been rejected, I have ended up with something better — just at a later date.
4. (But also take a breather): Whether it’s a rejection of an idea at work, or a rejection from an opportunity, I find it helpful to take a short break. Going for a walk, talking to a friend etc. so I can share myself and my work from a more positive and strategic place.

While rejection can be quite painful, picking yourself up again and continually moving forward is the only way. I love design because it’s not about ‘winning’ or ‘getting it right’ every single time. Instead, it’s about doing your best, putting yourself out there — and adjusting your approach as you go.

So corny, but so true.

This week…

I challenge you to put yourself forward for something (TED Talk, a date, Forbes 30 under 30 etc), and let me know how it goes! Let’s continue the conversation over on LinkedIn! 👋