Can design thinking help you find love?
Everyone’s favourite occasion to hate is coming up — Valentine’s Day!
For me, I try to ignore the stereotypes around this day. During phases of singledom, and not being single, I have found Valentines to be a time of reflection on what has gone wrong with bringing love into my life, and what has gone right.
In regards to defining “love”, I don’t just view romance as the only kind. Instead, I also view it as time around animals and nature, good friends, and doing things for your community.
When I first moved to London, I went on a lot of boring dates. I also missed my dogs back in Canada terribly, and had trouble making real friends. While my life is by no means perfect, I’ve managed to improve these areas of love in my life through… you guessed it… a bit of intentional question-asking!
In the world of design (and life), it’s important to look back on what you’ve done before, identify why it’s a problem, and understand why it didn’t work. Otherwise, you will try to get your goal through the same means continually, until you are deeply frustrated and have no energy left.
How to consciously design love into your life…
A) Romantic Problem: Boring dates
I kept going on loads of dates with guys I met on apps. They weren’t bad people, I just didn’t connect with them. The more dates I went on, the more impossible meeting someone felt.
What I tried — I took a break from the apps, went all-in on my hobbies in group settings where new people would be. After doing this, I met my current boyfriend. A lot of people I know have this issue with dating apps — yet believe it is the only way to meet people. It’s ok if apps don’t work for you — there are lots of people out there with similar interests wanting to meet you!
B) Nature Problem: Lack of animals and nature
I would only be in nature or around animals when I would go back to Canada. I felt something was missing from my life in London, and relied (a little too much) on trips home to get my fill of nature and animals.
What I tried — After Covid I got really into hiking and running. I also joined Borrow my Doggy, and now take care of dogs near me regularly.
C) Platonic Problem: Deeper friendships in a big city
I met most of my friends through work-related events, and found it quite tiring to have hundreds of friends I could not rely on.
What I tried — this one is still tricky to be honest, as friendships take time, but face-timing with my best friends back home and investing more in people I do like (rather than meeting new people all the time) , has improved things for me drastically so far. It’s still a work-in-progress.
D) Community Problem: Feeling disconnected from my community
I just moved to a new area and I LOVE it, but I don’t have any friends in this part of London yet. I want to feel more part of the community because I love it so much.
What I’m trying — joining local community groups for my hobbies, finding my regular go to cafes etc. I think it will take some time, but it is a conscious effort I am making. I’m also getting back into volunteering!
This week…
I challenge you to think about what area of your “love life” needs more attention, or a reevaluation. Are the dating apps really working? Do you spend enough time around animals and good friends?
Let’s continue the conversation over on LinkedIn 👋
